Amanda Foreman

My name is Amanda and I was baptized for the second time into the Mormon Church in 2001 at the age of 18. My very Christian mother reluctantly allowed me to be baptized at the age of 17, but on the day of my confirmation we got into an argument about the choice I was making. The stake mission leader ended up coming over to our apartment and told us that he didn’t want the Church to tear us apart, so I would have to wait until I was 18 and accountable before I could be baptized once more and then confirmed.

My story with the Church began when I was 15. I met a guy I liked that was Mormon. We never dated, but after looking into the history of the Church, I was hooked and wanted to know everything. I bought books from all sources (some from the Church and some from Jerald and Sandra Tanner and other ex-Mormons for Jesus), and read articles on the internet and had an unquenchable thirst to know about the Church. It was something almost unheard of for someone my age.

At that point I found out that my best friend Heather, whom I had lost contact with, had already joined the Church. I went to church with her, and at the local ward building, made the decision to join.

I think that I really believed in the Church for about 5 minutes. I said the prayer on my knees with the most sincere heart ever, just like the missionaries had asked. I could never quite feel as if the Church were "true." I knew that I would never agree with the church 100%, but I was looking for some sort of organization in my life and the Church offered that to me. I never rebelled against my family with drugs or alcohol; I rebelled by becoming a Mormon. I didn’t think that God would care that I was in the Church, even though in my heart I knew better.

At the age of 18 I decided to move to Salt Lake City to immerse myself in the culture and really live my religion. My mom also came with me. California was too expensive for an 18-year-old and her single mother to afford, so we moved to Utah and stayed for 4 years.

When we moved to Utah we didn’t have anybody to help us move in, so we went to Temple Square looking for some missionaries to help us. That’s where I first saw Rob Sivulka standing out in front of the temple. I was so outraged that anybody would dare stand out in front of the temple--our holiest spot! So I walked right up to him and started hollering at him. I had been awake for over 24 hours, so I don’t remember exactly what I said to him. But either he left or I calmed down and went on my way.

I then got a job working for a Mormon owned art gallery, went to church faithfully, got my first temple recommend, and had a church calling. Basically, I did everything right for about a year until my very Mormon fiancée Mason broke up with me and left me to marry another girl. I thought it was the worst thing to happen to me, but God was still thinking about me. After Mason left I didn’t want to go to church and I didn’t want to go into the temple. Both places reminded me of him and caused me a great deal of pain. So after telling God for awhile that I no longer believed He existed, I finally calmed down and tried to find my way and see exactly why things were happening the way they were.

I had always felt that He called me to minister to members of the Mormon Church, and I had always known that I would not always be a member of the Church, even though at times I tried to tell myself otherwise. But I know that the Lord has a place for me among the Mormon people, just not as one. I moved back to California, and now stay in Anaheim with my grandmother. After moving home I began attending a Messianic Jewish Synagogue until my mother started going back to Cottonwood Christian Church in Los Alamitos--the church where I had accepted Christ as a child. I am now attending the Cottonwood Christian School of Ministry for the next two years. Hopefully after that by the grace of God I will find myself in front of the temple talking to the Mormons.

Amanda Foreman
amandaforeman11@msn.com